everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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