Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
