i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
