would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize