garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
