she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
