just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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