Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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