I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He uses pillows to masturbate.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
