It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
