He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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