is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
