Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
