the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
