Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
