you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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