Non-Jews are for practice
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
