I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
