so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
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After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
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I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
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