I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
