Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize