brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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