That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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