Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
