She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
