i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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