There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.