Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply

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  (512): I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all. (1-512): Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply http://tfl.nu/mzzt
  Replies (7) Good night (682) Bad night (1336)
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  (212): View more from New York

  He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"

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  (212): He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances," http://tfl.nu/u663
  Replies (83) Good night (3591) Bad night (2853)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad

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  (856): Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad http://tfl.nu/fp7i
  Replies (70) Good night (825) Bad night (3569)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.

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  (215): Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them. http://tfl.nu/quds
  Replies (19) Good night (5850) Bad night (801)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.

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  (773): It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out. http://tfl.nu/p4fr
  Replies (16) Good night (5205) Bad night (739)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  You better have your party panties on Saturday!

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  Why only Saturday?

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.

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  (205): You better have your party panties on Saturday! (1-205): Why only Saturday? (205): Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri. http://tfl.nu/ifn7
  Replies (26) Good night (4186) Bad night (1054)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?

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  (203): he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat? http://tfl.nu/b9c7
  Replies (161) Good night (2319) Bad night (36184)
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  (585): View more from New York

  He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.

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  (585): He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials. http://tfl.nu/lmhg
  Replies (10) Good night (3940) Bad night (1330)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question

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  (612): The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question http://tfl.nu/cvyj
  Replies (8) Good night (3313) Bad night (913)
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  (212): View more from New York

  You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines

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  (212): You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines http://tfl.nu/eq9r
  Replies (14) Good night (1552) Bad night (664)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him

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  (317): He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him http://tfl.nu/vd38
  Replies (11) Good night (1906) Bad night (652)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.

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  (414): No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma. http://tfl.nu/kebr
  Replies (0) Good night (991) Bad night (271)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  Thats your rule and this car is nice

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  (775): You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule (1-775): Thats your rule and this car is nice http://tfl.nu/6eo6
  Replies (1) Good night (654) Bad night (327)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..

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  (+44): I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far.. http://tfl.nu/4lu0
  Replies (2) Good night (283) Bad night (462)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME

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  (716): Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME http://tfl.nu/yk5a
  Replies (6) Good night (526) Bad night (203)

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