i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
