You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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