Texts From Last Night

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  (972): View more from Texas

  she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.

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  (972): she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick. http://tfl.nu/7fj1
  Replies (16) Good night (5607) Bad night (635)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.

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  (469): Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate. http://tfl.nu/3qld
  Replies (15) Good night (6818) Bad night (638)
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  (661): View more from California

  It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.

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  (661): It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing. http://tfl.nu/ex7a
  Replies (116) Good night (11597) Bad night (1811)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.

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  (401): You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you. http://tfl.nu/6q4j
  Replies (14) Good night (9282) Bad night (1016)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.

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  (410): I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night. http://tfl.nu/medf
  Replies (13) Good night (4328) Bad night (1190)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."

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  (480): Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions." http://tfl.nu/c9eh
  Replies (18) Good night (5134) Bad night (975)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  God, you're like boner-b-gone

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  (305): God, you're like boner-b-gone http://tfl.nu/0pn8
  Replies (10) Good night (1160) Bad night (5509)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.

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  (207): I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over. http://tfl.nu/vji8
  Replies (10) Good night (1476) Bad night (3012)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.

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  (501): Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/ddwi
  Replies (9) Good night (3665) Bad night (1082)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.

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  (847): That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy. (847): You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth. http://tfl.nu/gv40
  Replies (12) Good night (1950) Bad night (626)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.

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  (519): She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot. http://tfl.nu/3yos
  Replies (18) Good night (1831) Bad night (601)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you

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  (931): He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you http://tfl.nu/kuvj
  Replies (6) Good night (1849) Bad night (374)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him

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  (334): this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him http://tfl.nu/vg1j
  Replies (1) Good night (646) Bad night (318)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.

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  (816): Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort. (913): Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine. http://tfl.nu/1agk
  Replies (1) Good night (681) Bad night (255)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere

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  (614): Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere http://tfl.nu/d5we
  Replies (1) Good night (781) Bad night (333)

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