My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.