Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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