whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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