Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
