I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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