I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I would fuck him just for his dog
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
