The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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