in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
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