Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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