my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
What drink are we having for lunch?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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