Moan for me like Helen Keller
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
