Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Everclear isn't food dammit
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
