So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
