I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
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it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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