Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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