i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
