Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
