My hand turned me down
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
