You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
