I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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