yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
