come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
