Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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