Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
