In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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