Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
