If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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