finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize