i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
