You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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