I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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