If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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