these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
