my sisters under your porch take her home
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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