My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
