I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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