I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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