remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
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