hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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