There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
