Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
