dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
